Fear, doubt and anxiety- The Terrible Triplet Demons of Doom! Responsible for more sleepless nights than Freddy Kruger.
Have these little fellas ever woken you up at night?
Or had a fight in your tummy until you thought you were gonna heave?
Or worse yet, have these three demons stopped you from living your dreams?
I can answer YES to all three of those questions. In fact, for years I allowed them to stop me from living authentically, loving fully, and from expressing my true potential.
Like Don Quixote, I fought valiantly. But the fight was in vain, for it’s a fight that can’t be won.
The harder I fought, the more tenaciously they held on. It was like some weird nightmare where the more I struggled, the more ensnared I became.
And then I figured it out.
It’s funny, because I figured it out before I knew that I had figured it out. It’s only with the perspective of time that I can look back and see when it happened.
It started small, the way most BIG shifts usually do.
See, I’m dyslexic. Pretty profoundly dyslexic actually. To the point where school was all but impossible for me. I was repeatedly told I would never be able to read or write well.
And then, I decided to create a career for myself as a writer. Well, maybe that wasn’t too well thought out.
Every time I sat down to write, it was a struggle. I mean it was really hard, painful and I was never satisfied.
I was deathly afraid of ridicule,
I had deep doubts about my abilities.
And I woke up at night drenched in sweat and ridden with anxiety.
The other part of this story is that I am psychologically unemployable (That’s kind of a joke, but not really). I mean I’m a really bad employee, which is why I have always been a self-employed entrepreneur. So, I’ve become pretty good at figuring things out. And this writing thing was just one more thing.
One night, after procrastinating all day, I sat down to write and the Demon Triplets were there as usual. Shit! I was getting tired and exhausted from battling these little dudes.
And then, in some weird miraculous moment of clarity I decided to rewrite the story of my writing. “Hey!” I thought. “Why can’t I write a new experience of what it is to sit down and write.” I mean heck, this is what I coach people on all the time.
Now it wasn’t like it suddenly became effortless. In fact it still hasn’t. But I became comfortable with those 3 little dudes. And when I stopped fighting them, I discovered that they actually had things to say to me. Valuable insights about where I needed to focus, and where I needed to sharpen my skills.
I still struggle with overcoming the struggle (get it?). Those dudes never go away. And actually the closer you get to your destination the louder they become. And this is a GOOD thing.
These Demon Triplets are your allies. Their voices are in support of what you want to achieve.
Fear is the voice that tells you to pay attention and focus on what’s important.
Doubt is showing you that there are skills to sharpen and to master.
And anxiety is my new best friend (shhhh, don’t tell the other two). Anxiety is the cheerleader. that is cheering you on to victory. When you turn it around, anxiety is your excitement and anticipation. The more anxious you feel, the more you want it. When channeled anxiety becomes your biggest motivator!
Freedom does not come easily. It requires tremendous effort, a solid plan, and determination to overcome any and all obstacles that arise.
Imagine if you were on a battlefield, and make no mistake you are, would you want your lieutenants gently reminding you to be careful? Or gently hinting that you might want to look out?
Or do you need them shouting at you to be alert, while they watch your back and protect your flank?
Once I started listening, my Terrible Triplet Demons of Doom became my greatest allies. I ignore their advice at my own peril.
We have an agreement: I listen to them, and they watch my back and protect my flank. I couldn’t ask for better comrades in arms!
Part of coming to terms with your allies is familiarity. So, over the next few weeks we’ll dive deep and get to know these guys.
In the meantime, know that they got you covered. They got your back. You couldn’t ask for better friends.
To YOUR freedom!